fluttershwee: benoistmelissas: DO NOT SPEAK TO ME WHEN I HAVE HEADPHONES ON JESUS CHRIST
owlapin: owlapin: owlapin: MICROSOFT WORD HAS A FUCKING “INSERT CITATION” BUTTON WHY THE FUCK DID NO ONE EVER TELL ME THIS IS SIGNIFICANT INFORMATION FUCK THE SCHOOL SYSTEM THIS IS MICROSOFT WORD 2007 I SHOULD HAVE BEEN MADE AWARE OF THIS IN HIGHSCHOOL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I HATE EVERYTHING you can fucking log your sources into your document and then at the end press a fucking button and...
IT IS MY FRIEND TORI GO FOLLOW IT. IT WILL MAKE THE FANDOM A LITTLE BIT HAPPIER.
My dad just emailed me this huge list of puns oh...
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
xsoldmysoulx: omg-johndave-omg: rufiiohs: femtavros: valeloi9: sakura-yukishiro-bonnefoy: altairs-butt: thwipthwipspider: ask-mercer: thwipthwipspider: altairs-butt: altairspants: my internet is being a god damn bitch punch it slap it Twist it flick it bop it harder better faster stronger what happened this is the new best thing on the internet
DAMN I wanna make out with your face.
peregrint: can you imagine elrond as your dad u would misbehave and all he would have to do is look at you like
I’m paranoid that one of my followers is “The Boy” from school
equisollux: zombiecthulu: basedkuroko: my friend is hiding under this bean bag in the library so he doesnt have to go to PE the only way you can see him is if you get on the floor behind the bean bag and see the light of his phone I bet he’s on Tumblr I am
myrtlewilson: myrtlewilson: fun fact one time i auditioned for a play and the character called for a russian accent and i did mine for the director and got the part and she stopped me on my way out and asked my how i got it so believable sounding and i didn’t have the heart to tell her it was because of the amount of time i spend imitating chekov from star trek when i’m home alone i’m...
thebatteur: once in kindergarten a girl asked me to write “super girl” on her arm since i was the only kid who could write so i wrote “shit” on her arm and i hid under the table for like 30 minutes then the teacher found me and yelled at me then called my parents and my dad laughed so hard he cried
I was looking through my new "With The Beatles"...
iwillchangew8: phantomserenity: bookworm94: teenagestereotypes: Take a look …Weeping Angels….With the Beatles? Well I guess that explains this: Are you kidding me… You have crossed the fandom line.
miatrny: best-of-funny: thorin-my-king: getoutoftherecat: the-companions-doctor: sharlina6: Fact of the Day: Cats have unattached collarbones, which means that they can fit through any aperture large enough to accommodate their heads. whenever someone judges me for wanting to be a cat I’ll just direct them to this how do you cat why can’t i cat X “cats do not abide by...